In our culture, we often view change as a "black and white" event. We think we have to quit the job, end the relationship, or move across the country to find a new version of ourselves. This "all or nothing" mindset creates a deep fear of loss—we worry that if we let go of a title we worked so hard to achieve, we will lose ourselves in the process.
But nature teaches us a different way. When a plant stops blooming, we don’t always pull it out by the roots and let it die. Often, it just needs a pruning or a new location in the garden.
Divorce the Title, Marry the Skills
Too often, we allow ourselves to be defined by labels: "Senior Engineer," "CEO," or even "Tommy’s Mom." These titles become cages that constrict our growth. If you feel stagnant, I want to challenge you to look past the label and see the ecosystem of skills beneath it.
I often say: Marry the skills, but divorce the title.
The attention to detail that made you a great project manager is the same skill that could make you an incredible product inventor. The nurturing energy you gave to your family is the same energy that can now mentor others in their starting phase. When you see your journey as a collection of skills rather than a fixed role, the fear of "starting over" vanishes. It’s not a loss; it’s the joy of incorporating new growth.
The Myth of the Status Quo
We are meant for continued evolution. When we force ourselves to maintain the status quo out of a sense of duty or fear, we rob ourselves of new possibilities. This rigid demand to keep things "the same" eventually burdens the mind and exhausts the body.
If your environment has changed—if your health has shifted, your home is different, or your workplace no longer fuels you—it is a mistake to force yourself to continue the same path without adjustment.
3 Questions for Your Seasonal Check-In
The new year is the perfect time to check in with your heart, mind, and body. Use these three questions to see where you might need a "pruning" or a "re-potting":
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What am I protecting that no longer serves me? Often we hold onto things simply because they cost us a lot to achieve in the past. If it doesn't bring you joy or fulfillment today, can you "compost" the role while keeping the wisdom?
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How can my current skills serve a new goal? If you took your favorite 3 skills and stripped away your current job title, where else could they flourish? Could they become a hobby, a new course of study, or a volunteer role?
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Is my routine nurturing me or just managing me? Check in with your rhythms—your sleep, your environment, your daily pace. Are you following a schedule that was built for a version of you that no longer exists?
A Personal Note on Healing
I had to learn this the hard way in 2025. When my health changed, my "status quo" was no longer an option. I had to prune back my expectations and return to the basics: sleep, environmental rhythm, and the healing power of herbs. I had to let go of the "busy" title to make room for the "healing" title.
By embracing this mindset, I didn't feel stuck—I felt like I was finally giving my garden the room it needed to breathe.
Finding Your Own Rhythm
Because I know how heavy that "status quo" can feel, I’ve put together a tool to help you begin your own pruning process. It’s a Simple Rhythms Checklist designed to help you return to the basics—the very things that served as my own saving grace last year.
Whether you’ve been part of my community for years or we are just meeting in this new chapter, I’d truly love to know how you are doing. Not the "busy" version of you, but the real you.
How is your rhythm feeling, truly?
Take a moment, and check below. If you feel moved to share your reflections, you can fill out the digital check-in form...It comes straight to my private inbox. I’d love to review your answers and follow up with a brief note or a 10-minute "Garden Gate Chat" to help you identify where your next bloom might be.